"I GOT SOUL BUT I'M NOT A SOLDIER"

I hadn't planned on coming back to Melbourne so soon... In fact, Adelaide was supposed to be a pit stop on my way towards Perth... But then Has bought me a ticket to Good Vibrations and I jumped that train and came straight back. Two things must first be explained before I can go any further.

1) Who is Has? Has is a good friend of Shaz (and now me!), and my second ambassador of awesomeness here in Oz.

2) What is Good Vibes? Good Vibes is one of many all day music festivals held here in Melbourne during the summer. What was unique about Good Vibes in Melbourne this year? It was headlined by THE KILLERS.

Let me give you a breakdown of this lineup:

The Killers

Kid Cudi

Armand Van Helden

Gym Class Heroes

Chase & Status Live

Busta Rhymes

Naughty by Nature

Salt N Pepa

Basement Jaxx

Art Vs Science

Gossip

and about 20 others I've never heard of.

It was small compared to other festivals- I think maybe 15,000 people attended. But it was a great happy, tipsy crowd... not too hippy and not too rowdy... and although the venue was packed, it wasn't too difficult moving between stages and no one had to die for me to secure my spot for the Killers.

I wish I had more pictures but I'm an IDIOT and didn't charge my camera, so I saved my battery life for Kid Cudi and The Killers.

However, Busta, Naughy By Nature, and Salt N Pepa were awesome. It was like being back home in the nineties!... except it's 201o and I'm in Australia... random. Salt N Pepa don't push it quite like they did back in the day, and from the little footage I have of Busta, everyone comments on how old he looks (to be fair, it has been two decades)... but they still got it :)

But THIS is why I was really there.

The stage...

"Mr. Brightside"

Love him.

"Spaceman"

"All These Things That I've Done"

and finally, my favorite pic ever...

You done good, Brandon Flowers. You done real good.

"Adelaide, you have... a nice personality."

So backtracking a bit, we left Melbourne on February 3 and arrived in Adelaide before the dawn of February 6th...

Our three day journey began along the Great Ocean Road (this is The Grotto along Shipwreck Coast, where the waves collide with the craggy cliffs before collapsing inward with an almighty crash that sends foam and spray flying. So cool)...

and wound its way through the rainforests of Victoria...

ending at the beautiful ranges of the Grampians before heading towards Adelaide (state capital of South Australia) at dusk.

How do I explain my initial response to Adelaide?

HATED it when I first got there. It probably didn't help that we actually arrived in Adelaide at 2am and, being cheap backpackers, slept in the car (in a McDonalds parking lot no less) until check-in the next day.

Have you ever started to compliment someone without thinking it through and had to scramble to find an attribute to praise? It's really awkward when you start to say "You have... um... you have..." and you can't think of how to finish. What do you say? "You have... a nice personality..." or "You have... ten fingers..."

Well take that feeling, of futilely trying to grope for favorable words that you know aren't coming, and for 5 out of the 6 days I was there, THAT'S how I felt when talking about Adelaide.

When a local would ask me "So what do you think of Adelaide?", the best I could come up with was "It's... nice... very different from Melbourne", to which they would WITHOUT FAIL reply "yeah, but WE have the friendliest people"... I got news for you pal. I come from the States, where I once smiled at a stranger and she asked if I was gay- to me, EVERYONE is friendly in Australia.

Not that friendly people were even much of a bonus because it was SO hot that week- the kind of heat that turns a state capital into a ghost town between the hours of 7am and 9 pm. I found it bland and barren. I missed Melbourne... it's quirky character, dodgy alleys, and artistic vibe. I actually didn't even take a single picture until my last 24 hours there. On that note...

Lesson #2: Stop being a punkass! I don't care if Adelaide is the armpit of Australia- it is IN AUSTRALIA. 'Nuff said.

So in the spirit of post-punkass positivity, here are some good things about Adelaide:

• Great pubs and an unexpected rock 'n' roll energy that comes alive once the sun goes down

• Bluest skies I've ever seen

• Beautiful cathedrals and always knowing the hour thanks to the bells- Adelaide is known as the City of Churches.

• Great running trails along the River Torrens

• Parks large enough to get lost in, just north of the CBD (central business district)

• And finally, a bajillion awesome festivals, none of which I was there for.

So yeah, the city actually is probably pretty cool... but that's really all I had in me, so when I got back from Port Lincoln, I packed my bags and took the midnight train goin' anywhere...

Actually, it was a bus, it left at twilight, and was going to Melbourne, but who doesn't love a good Journey reference??

Went to Port Lincoln To See Great Whites And Got Bit By A Tuna.

Let's just get this out of the way. I paid (a lot), I went, and I saw zero sharks. You have a 99% chance of seeing sharks... 99!... 99!! What are the chances!??? About one percent, I can tell you. A very large 1%. Anyways, starting from the beginning...

Last Thursday, I caught a flight from Adelaide to Port Lincoln. This was actually the first time I had really been on my own since my first days in Melbourne.

The plane was tiny- I've never been on a plane that small. There were eleven rows, 33 seats... I sat watching the propellers spin through the window.

We were flying so low, underneath the clouds. The clouds had swirled into delicate shapes that were reminiscent of a scene from a Disney movie, It was actually quite peaceful until we hit a bit of a storm. It reminded me of the intro to Tailspin :)

Look how small this airport is! That's the door for departures on the left and arrivals on the right...

Port Lincoln overlooks Boston Bay, which is one of the largest natural harbors in the world. According to my guidebook, Port Lincoln boasts both the largest fishing fleet in the Southern Hemisphere and more millionaires per capita than anywhere else in Australia. There's not much to it, although there are some beautiful homes lining the water...

and DRIVE-THRU BOTTLE SHOPS! This boggled my mind. While I was taking this picture, my Id and Superego had a quick but tumultuous quarrel- Thank God we don't have these back home!

Friday morning broke with clear skies and calm seas, the only ripples due to a crisp breeze... it was the perfect day to NOT see sharks.

Below is the steel cage, which acted to protect this first-time diver from all the water swimming around me. It's actually pretty freaky at first. In the beginning I periodically tried (unsuccessfully) to breathe through my nose and had to focus on not panicking. Probably would have stopped breathing altogether if there had actually been a shark snapping at the cage.

My consolation photo...

That aside, I did see a massive stingray; the guys had been fishing off the side of the boat and caught it. It was HUGE with this great white belly and took forever to haul up from the depths (and was immediately released). I'm still doing the research, but I think it may have been a small manta ray.

Although we didn't see any sharks, I did have an amazing Titanic moment. I guess that's the wrong title, because I neither sunk nor rendezvoused with Leonardo DiCaprio beneath the clock. But we DID have a school of dolphins grace us with their presence.

They are SO graceful and really magical to watch. I was mesmerized and couldn't do anything but grin happily as they cut fluidly through the waves, matching the boat's pace with ease. Note the appropriate music, which is a far superior audio choice compared to my lighthearted yet uninspiring commentary :)

The next day I went snorkeling with sealions! They are so playful in the water- they'll chase you and the more you play with them the more they interact with you. They kind of look like labradors without ears... the dogs of the ocean. Ignore the weird water noises and the fact that I fail as a videographer.

And last but not least... actually, that's a lie. It is the least, but still- I went swimming with... *drumroll please*... TUNA. Southern Bluefin Tuna, to be exact.

Before you laugh, they are actually kind of scary. First off, they are HUGE. They can weigh over 400 lbs (I heard up to 800), live up to 40 years, and are known as the porsche of the sea because they can reach speeds of up to 70 km/h faster than a porsche.

While I was swimming, I got to feed them whole sardines by hand, which is how I got bit! Tuna have SHARP TEETH! It really is just like big paper cuts, but it has been a week and it still hasn't healed!

Tuna farming is a huge indsustry in Port Lincoln.

FUN FACT: Almost all of the Australia Southern Bluefin Tuna (considered to be the best by sashimi connoisseurs) are exported to Japan, where they yield the highest price for tuna in the sashimi market. The average rate that a single bluefin brings in is between $2,000 and $20,000, although last year, a sushi bar owner in Tokyo paid $100,000 for a single Bluefin Tuna. Real talk. Apparently it depends on size, season, and fat content- the fattier the better.

Yum :)

Asian female driver from America driving in Australia...

I don't want to foster stereotypes, but let's be real. It sounds pretty scary, right?? However, no one died, was injured OR emotionally scarred AND I got the entire bond back for returning the car in its original state! Check one off the bucket list!! So let's see...

Last Wednesday, Sean, Collin and I rented a car (4WD, for safety purposes of course) and headed west out of Melbourne. We wanted to drive the Great Ocean Road- a stunning span of coastline that stretches from Torquay to Warrnambool. I just tried to map it out on Google and apparently it's only about 300 km and takes about 4 hours... but we somehow managed to take two full days.

We stopped EVERYWHERE! Our first stop was in Torquay (pronounced tor-KEY... but it just sounds like someone saying "turkey" with an accent and only made me hungry). 

The waves on the shores of Torquay are famous and I will surf and conquer them... someday. It is the home of the Rip Curl Pro Classic which takes place over Easter at Bells Beach (below). It is the goal of this heathen to be there or be square.

There were frequent lookouts along the way and we never got tired of exploring. Outside of the major cities, the coast is gorgeous and pristine, from the awesome surf of Torquay to the smooth rocks and deep tide pools outside Apollo Bay. 

Not bad for the first day of our first road trip! We spent the night in Apollo Bay and continued onto the second leg of our journey in the morning. 

Lesson #1: Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Back home this applies to homework, chores, paying tickets... I'm sure my dad could add to this list for me. I never cared to learn this lesson until now. Because here in Oz, it means that if you want to go kayaking with the seals, then goddammit molly, you go kayaking with seals because THIS is your chance.

I'm trying to learn this lesson, but instead of punishment, I got to play in some of Victoria's most beautiful rainforests all day. Makes it a little hard.

The rainforest is only a short drive from the beach. We went on a treetop walk through Otway National Park.... aka a waste of money. If you ever come here and want to see the rainforest, rent a car and drive through it yourself. There are plenty of turnoffs and hikes that are free and completely worth it: aka Hopetoun Falls.

This is where I started my habit of hopping fences. I slipped on a rock and almost landed on a wannabe scorpion/spider (WTF Australia!) and now have a pretty good bruise, but besides that the ecosystem and I remained unharmed. Unfortunately (again), we didn't count on the storm that was headed our way. See those rocks behind us? They were supposed to be the highlight of our second day.

Again. Could you tell it was going to POUR?? Because we couldn't.

Those blurry rocks in the background are some of the Twelve Apostles. They are a series of rock formations along Shipwreck Coast, shaped by the relentless winds and temperamental waves that wrecked over a 160 ships during the 19th century. It is said that they blaze red at sunset, a sight that is magnificent to behold...

I wouldn't know, but it was awesome anyways.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T let a tree fall on you. I hear it sucks.

We covered the most ground on Day 3, from Warnambool to Adelaide. We had finished the Great Ocean, so instead of continuing along the coast, we went north to the ranges of Grampians National Park. This has been my favorite part of my trip so far. Not because we went off-roading, almost running over wild wallabies and emus crossing the road, or because I got to see an echidna (spiny anteater)...

but because I got to check another item off my bucket list: dangle off The Balconies (aka the Jaws of Death) at The Grampians- check!

This was my finale in fence hopping. The Balconies are two stone slabs that jut out from the top of Mt. Victory. I saw a picture of this in my guidebook and it immediately went on the list- but when we got there, the lady at the visitors center said that it has been roped off for a few years now... 

SO glad I didn't listen to her because this moment that you see above has been the highlight of my trip. AH-MAZING. You're sitting off this rock, looking down over a panoramic view of the Grampians (again, pristine and gorgeous), with the wind whipping at your face and whistling in your ears... This picture doesn't do it justice at all.

VICTORY!!!!

"It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole..."

Such a good weekend!! First off, it was Colin's birthday (yay Colin!!). We celebrated with cake, alcohol, and some good beats (always a recipe for success) and danced the night away in the middle of Melbourne. One of the things I love about this city is its seemingly underground restaurant and nightlife scene. Back home, walking down a dodgy alley is a good way to die. Here, if you want to find the best restaurants and clubs, take a quick jaunt down the sketchiest alleyway you can find.

Melbourne really supports its local artists. One of a kind works of art dot the streets and where graffiti would be considered vandalism back home, here it seems to be another from of expression and only adds to the rich vitality of the city. 

But I have to say, Sunday was by far the best day I've had so far (no offense Colin!). We paid $85 for day trip to Phillip Island, which is about two hours south of the city.  By far the best money I've spent yet. We made a few stops along the way...

Found me a Joey :) 

This is an emu.... they have red eyes and they bite. Sounds like a bad vampire if you ask me.

Then off to a beach... a coastal oasis, with the roaring surf, a perfect aquamarine color, that pounded a shore made up of sand so fine it belongs in an hourglass...

I was so excited. I ran straight down to the shore, played in the surf, chasing the waves... I was just beginning to feel at one with Australia when I made the mistake of writing "USA" in the sand with my foot and promptly got SLAMMED by a wave... even Mother Nature hates us!

Despite this, I cannot begin to describe to you how I felt when I saw this beach. I love Melbourne but let's face it... I'm not a city girl. I haven't been completely content here but the moment I saw the coastline I finally KNEW that it was all going to be alright... such a feeling of peace.

Can you tell a thunderstorm was going to hit in a couple hours? Because we couldn't.

After leaving the beach, we continued heading towards Phillip Island and saw some koalas along the way! Can you spot the koala?

 

So cute!

And so typical... :)

Finally, we were off to Phillip Island.

The island is home to the Little Penguin. It is the smallest penguin (about 13 inches) and the only blue feathered penguin in the world. You aren't allowed to take pictures of them at night but I did see this little guy during the day. I've named him Norm.

The island is famous for the Penguin Parade- every night at sunset, hundreds of Little Penguins make the trek from the sea to their underground burrows in the hills. They are so cute and they really do waddle. Their stride actually reminds me of a baby (or a drunk...), stumbling, pitched forward and looking like it's about to topple. I don't care what the guide said- it was TOTALLY March of the Penguins! Would you like to see? What? You would?? 

Forget harvest work- we are ridiculously good actors, no?