Welcome to Adulthood

Jen wants me to write more. So because I am totally flattered and incapable of independent thought at three in the morning, I do what I'm told.

This is a post that I began on February 8th, one month before my first day ever of grown-up work, and never "published" (btw, for anyone unemployed in this crapshoot of an economy, blogging jargon is fantastic for increased self-esteem/false sense of accomplishment with minimal effort).

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2.8.2011 2:56AM

I am an "adult", and the other day, like the champion I am, I subsisted until 6pm on a diet of chocolate chips (from the bag) and frozen cut corn (also from the bag).

Wearing argyle is like wearing glasses- people automatically take you more seriously.

While you may say I live at home with my dad, I say that my roommate of 25 years and I have the best relationship ever- one in which he pays all the bills and I provide so many amazing contributions that they cannot possibly be listed here. Also, when I am not fueling the world with my good intentions, I babysit for a living (aka I help shape the youth of America).

Clearly this photo was posed and paid for- I have never been this helpful.

In short, I am a big winner!!

However, the everyday escapades of the penniless unemployed are often painfully dull and repetitive. There are only so many Saved by the Bell and Charmed reruns one person can watch before seriously analyzing every choice made since high school and wondering which one it was that landed them here.

However, one night after stepping into one of the only telephone booths left in San Franscisco and a quick tête-à-tête with Clark Kent (aka I went to dinner with my unassuming Superman of a father), I was inspired. It's hard not to feel inspiration around such a man (inspiration, or deep-seated shame for being such a lazy ass- whatever motivates you).

Logical and mathematical to the core, he believes that with prudent planning you can achieve any goal you set for yourself and create the life you want. This is almost a direct Dennis Yee quote, so file it away because like almost everything else that comes out of his mouth, it's most likely life-lesson GOLD.

**note** I have been corrected: "Molly, this was not said in absolute terms. So don't go setting a goal of owning your own island in the Pacific or something". Shoot, really?? I hope none of you ever have to experience the pain of having your hopes and dreams crushed like that. So very very disheartening. **end note**

So okay! Plan for success? Networking, 5-year plans and 401k? That sounds great!... except for that fact that I take after my mom, which not only means that I could probably get lost in my own backyard (which is actually an impressive feat considering we don't have one) but also that I am neither practical nor a planner, all facts that would drive my poor pragmatic father to the drink if he could see any logic in it.

But you cannot live with such a force of nature and NOT become even marginally more functional as a human being. (Honestly. I've been trying for 20 years. It's probably the project I've invested in the most.)

So thanks to his best efforts...

and in spite of mine...

... I've been offered a job! Well, not officially. But unofficially, I am totally employed! I was nervous about announcing it prematurely because I feel like before I sign that contract they can still take it back. But my dad has already been telling everyone he knows, so I feel I should too, and as few people will read this post, the blog is the perfect way to start :)

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Since this was written, I've moved to LA with Brittney, cashed my first paycheck with a COMMA in it, rented my first tiny apartment and locked us out twice, ordered contact lenses using my very own health insurance (after blindly trying to start iv's on patient's for the first 2 months- heaven help the poor people of the South Bay), almost started a kitchen fire toasting bread over the oven burner, and basically have woken up every morning feelin' like a baller.

I still have yet to save a life on my own (but neither have I ended one- cheers to that), meet a guy at a bar (problem #1) that ISN'T trying to be an actor, or figure out how to roast a chicken. So I basically continue to stumble through life, but it's not so bad because I know that I can always call or email (he is staunchly refusing to evolve to texting) my awesome superman of a father for some straight forward pearls of wisdom. Happy Father's Day :)